January 17, 2015
A friend of mine reminded me the other day to keep going. Don’t give up. I was talking about getting my writing back on track and how I felt I was just writing BS. Man, I needed that. Really needed it. Because there was a time when I felt invincible, for real. I was young and had nothing to lose. I’d put myself out there with abandon. Lately, thinking, I’ve been questioning if I should still continue to pursue this life. We all do it as artists, whether you call yourself an artist or not. We all question the choices, decisions and the woulda, coulda, shoulda.
Now this is where it gets good. Really freakin’ good. I walk into an audition, and there on the sign-in sheet, I see the name of an old friend. We grew up three houses away from each other. Yeah, I knew she was acting. And didn’t doubt that we would cross-paths at some point. But this was a high stakes audition, and there we were together! It gets even better… We were in the same group! Man, my mind, heart and soul were blown. I got there later than everyone else in the group, so when they rounded the corner, we saw each other. And then I knew. I am doing EXACTLY WHAT I AM SUPPOSE TO BE DOING! Also, in that group, two of my ensemble mates from The ACADEMY at Black Box Acting. Shizz does not get any better than that!
In that moment, I got an injection of remembering of who I am, what I am doing and that if it was easy then everyone would do it. Would scream from on high that they are artists. See, the thing is, we are all artists. We create each and every day. With each breath we take, we are creating. Having that alchemy of my old hood friend alongside my new posse reminded me, more than anything, I have a community of people, who—when I fall—will catch me. Or at least help me laugh it off. For real, y’all don’t leave me hanging.
The audition? I put it in the success column for me. Because I did my job as an actor in the room. And I had fun. I mean, how could I not with part of my community right outside the door and even more thinking about me, ready and willing to laugh with me if I faceplant.